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Chromattix

Matthew
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But a Daily deviation is a pretty solid runner up prize :trophy:
Spaghettification by Chromattix
Thankyou :devart: for featuring it, and for providing this string of contests with very interesting themes over the past few months. I'm not in any of the current ones, character design isn't a strong point of mine, but it'll be interesting to see who wins, and what themes might be selected for upcoming contests if any!

I've been slipping in and out of activity for some time and these contests motivating me to put stuff aside to draw something again have probably been a good influence for me. Too busy with work and other crap I'd gladly cut out of my life if I won the lottery so I could just get back into prioritizing art more than just doing what I have to do to maintain my already questionable quality of life at home. Good thing I still got this place, your'e keeping me sane dA community :psychotic:
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Son of a Beach!

2 min read
After being elected as one of many fine finalists in the recent Devious Desktops: Warm Vibes competition I had my fingers crossed over the past week thinking about nothing other than what the results would be. This was the first contest I've heard about in ages I was actually interested in theme-wise and one that was also open to all members around the world so I jumped on it right away! 

It paid off as I won one of the three winning positions! :excited: It's been years since I won anything here, and even those were smaller scale contests held by individual users or groups. I'm certain this is the first time I ever placed in one of the big ones dA drops into our message centres a few times a year (and I heard there's a round two! :eager:) To think I actually had extra ideas for this contest but due to time constraints I had to put all my eggs in one basket and commit to the one artwork. It paid off! :trophy:
Beach Ball by Chromattix

Perhaps they'll do a winter themed one in December, I'm already thinking up ideas for a chilly sister-piece to this one just in case :plotting:
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Switchi'n It Up

3 min read
So I've pretty much disappeared without an explanation, drip-feeding some time on here into the forums but not much else on the artistic front. Totally out of character for me whose been persistently active on here since I began. But then again out of character probably describes how I feel. Not necessarily in a "bad" way, but in a way that I feel like my priorities and personality are changing after some realizations about many things this year. In some ways it's been a good thing, I feel myself actually having a desire to start doing a little more than sit in front of a computer all day. Wanting friends, company and activity in my life more now when before I didn't really care either way (not to say that days off where I'm at home alone aren't still a blessing) but because those are getting rarer I haven't really been able to invest as much time into making new art anymore (It's one of those things I hate doing when there's other people around, and goddammit it's always a full house here :crazy:) That combined with reworking my garden over the past year taking up most of my free time (almost done now, that'll free up time when finished) and trying to at least get some sort of social life started up again (pfft, again - implying I had one to begin with) means until I've found a new routine where I can get all these things slotted into place and balanced with each other, some are going to suffer in favour of others. My art had to be the thing I sacrificed for the time being, mainly because that is going to be the easiest thing to pick back up again once I get my shit sorted and unlike my other activities, there's no time-frame I have to do that in, it's the only thing I can still do at 2 in the morning and I am still chipping away at some new pieces. But it's taking a back seat while I'm figuring out everything else in an attempt to live a happier lifestyle. Because before, and in the past few years I wasn't really happy - that's why the art dried up. When I'm not happy, I don't draw. I'm trying to change that.

And what better way to pump some fun into my life and some creative inspirations into my mind than buying Nintendo's latest console - the Switch (oh now the journal titles makes sense :slow:) Look how happy I am, like a kid on Christmas morning!
Nintendo Switch 1 by Chromattix Nintendo Switch 2 by Chromattix
When real life continues to be disappointing and uneventful, Nintendo steps in to fill the void. That's one of the few things that hasn't changed for me after all these years. I kinda stopped with the games along with my art for a while there. I now need to get everything else wrapped up so I can start up again in both and remind myself of the simple things that brought me joy. Maybe once I'm happier again I'll be more motivated to create again.
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A Sexy Birthday

3 min read
Wow wow I'm 30 now :faint: I've been having mixed feelings about it for months, on one hand I feel pretty bummed out that my 20's are over forever now which seems to be the only age demographic the world still considers fun and cool. On the other hand it has given me a little kick in the bum when it comes to trying to motivate myself to actually be be more fun and cool, since I spent a lot of the past ten years tirelessly working away on my hobbies, most noticeably my art. It's paid off in many ways and kept me busy during a time I didn't really have much else going on, and I definitely want to keep at it. Yet I want to start living a little more in between. I started this weekend actually and went clubbing for the first time with some trusted friends from work. In the course of just a few hours I went from shy and feeling out of place to dancing on a raised platform shirtless, and no - I wasn't on anything, unless you count the esteem boost from getting compliments from multiple people in a night as a drug :boogie: I really needed that, to feel sexy at an age where many men start to turn a little bleh. I could easily do more of this :D
First Time Clubbing by Chromattix

Also bought this totally sick new jacket for myself, arrived in the mail just in time!
New Jacket by Chromattix

Plus I got some nice gifts from my family and got to spend some time with everyone who matters to me. It really took the sting out of getting a little older and now that all the excitement is over I can finish off my annual birthday-landscape piece I started, even if it means being a few days late - it's justified this time, I actually did fun stuff :la: Here's hoping I can do in my 30's what I was too afraid or just under-resourced to do in my 20's - live a little, find out who I really am and what I really want out of life. Some things never change though - I'm still pretty invested in deviantART, the one place I felt like I could always be myself from the very beginning, now I want to try and transcend that feeling into my personal life. Who knows, my experiences might even inspire some new art ideas.
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In the past couple of months, but more specifically within the last week I've had a lot of sudden realizations about myself, particularly my image and how I have portrayed myself to the world and that caused me to finally think critically about myself and how others see me, and this is what led to my decision to change my username here.

Its been a chain reaction of things. First a few months ago it dawned on me that I'm gonna be 30 in July and I realized that I've been alone for so long and have never really tried to put myself out there in the dating world for a number of reasons. First my priorities lied in other stuff - improving my art being the only one that really resulted in anything worthwhile. But the fact I'm gay also made it harder, especially since I never was a club or bar person, and I was shy and insecure and just a general anxious mess from my shitty growing up experiences.

But a little while ago I tried some apps. I never wanted to resort to that but truth be told I was feeling pretty lonley, desperate and depressed. So I went into that with confidence, after all I'm a cool looking guy and I'm sure I'd still be appealing to those even younger than me. But a lack of interest from guys on there told me otherwise and started making me question my appearance.

So, just yesterday I had to find out does the world see me the way I always saw myself. I knew I couldn't ask family, friends or even my dA watchers since they'll all sugarcoat it since none of us want to hurt the feelings of those we care about :hug: I needed unbiased honesty so I turned to complete strangers on an "Am I Ugly?" board where people concerned about their appearances go to get, well - wilfully judged and given advice on what to do to improve themselves. I needed a reality check so jumped in with some recent photo's to get real opinions... The results were not pretty.

For starters I can't pass for a "boy" of any kind anymore - my age is showing and I was advised to work with it, not fight against it since I definitely have the look of a man now. I'm also really thin and need to gain weight and work out if I want to have a body that matches my new, more "distinguished" face, since while boys can look great when skinny - men usually don't, can't say I disagree either. My skin is bad, hopefully I can do something about that. My hair was the worst offender to everyone though and was a point of interest in just about every comment - years of bleaching it has made it dry and as one comment put it "mankey" (no, not the Pokemon :pokeball:) so I might have to spend a while being my natural colour if I want to save it. Everyone suggested a new style too because going for the Final Fantasy look at near 30 is bordering on the desperate. By the time I'm 40 it'll just be plain pathetic :ashamed:

All hard advice to swallow but perfectly justified. I'm not sure if I can even afford the time or money to do all this self improvement stuff to hopefully transform from aging boy who thought he looked good to confident man who actually looks good, especially to other men who aren't creepy old perverts. But just in case I don't I need a new name that wasn't suggestive of my appearance or age. Something simple, original and won't reek of desperation or "former glory days" in the far future (though I sure hope those weren't my glory days!) It's better to change it now than wait another ten years.

Being an artist is about trying new things, not just with your creations but with yourself.

I could still say a lot more but I'll save it for the comments. Any questions about my decision will be answered, any advice on where should I go from here will be considered. Any advice others who might be going through the same thing want from me will be given... to the best of my ability ^^;
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Featured

Well I Didn't Win This Time.. by Chromattix, journal

Son of a Beach! by Chromattix, journal

Switchi'n It Up by Chromattix, journal

A Sexy Birthday by Chromattix, journal

A Big Devious Decision by Chromattix, journal