So much for THAT idea

Ever had that really cool concept that you just couldn't do because you lacked the necessary tools to do it. Well that feeling's becoming more and more frequent to me and and having lost something I had my laptop rendering for the past two days just set me off. As if it wasn't bad enough that it was meant to be an Easter themed artwork that would have already been a few days late, now I feel like I'm better off scrapping it altogether, or just putting it aside for next year when I'm sure I'm not going to care about it anymore anyway

There's a good reason why I don't submit new art nearly as often as I used to, or say yes to many commission offers anymore. Not much else in my life has changed other than me feeling increasingly bored and tired with trying to do it. And it's not because of a lack of ideas, since I come up with them daily. It's because my workload is being carried by the technological equivalent of a mule with a busted leg. This "trying to make huge epic digital art of the future using yesterday's outdated hardware" thing has worn my motivation down and killed any joy it used to have for me when my expectations were small enough for my lack of top-tier tools to really be an issue. Creating anything now always feels like such a chore, usually these days I only muster up enough obligation to continue with my annual series for certain days of the year so I don't have any gaps in my track record but in between those I find myself spending most of my time doing nothing because it's a lot less rage-inducing than sitting through a hundred program crashes just to get one measly artwork out of month's worth of suffering for it. I had ideas for new "series" I wanted to start out and maybe even a new calendar too to hopefully breath some fresh interest into the medium, ideas I know would have done well here and probably helped bring me back to the spotlight which I feel I've not been able to get back to in a long while. But I then realize I'd just be trying to tunnel out of prison with a disposable plastic spoon

Think next year I might have to consider some much needed upgrades if I'm going to have any hope of saving my passion for this stuff at all, but I can't afford that shit now so the renaissance of priteeboy will have to be postponed as I look forward to another year where I do as little as possible for the sake of my own sanity, since until I can get my hands on something more up to speed with my own growth and ideas then I can't say I'm really enjoying this much and have even crossed that line where I enjoy coming here to look at other people's art more than contributing my own, it's just a much easier way to get me dA fix